But still hoping.
Illusory hoping.
Almost never being able to disconnect ... leave that lady ... and continue my life.
Yeah ... i just couldn't.
That is how ... trapped into this prisons with invisible walls ... the love stories i was writing about so, so much ... it all ended as an obsession for understanding the nonsense behind relationship man-woman.
Writing so much.
... not necessarily being clear ... or even by contrary ... being confusing.
So ... this is again ... another book ... when i actually try to open myself in front of the public ... analysing and defining my own experiences ... from a psychological perspective.
And ... it's not that i come up with any brilliant theory ... cause it's more a confession trying to reveal the difficulties of being in duality.
A way in how at least we should try ... but not being afraid of ... failing.
Simply be opened.
Analyse and accept all what is going on ... but be aware that being in love for real ... means 1+1=1.
2 souls become one.
All rules and all we know is ... rewritten.
It's not about you and the loved one ... but about "us" as a couple.
So ... let me share my stories in front of you ... and try to stop yourself calling me a lost soul ... until you end reading the book.
Cause ... what i am talking about it's not only ... my lost soul ... but about our lost souls.
And ... we l are really so, so many.
Some denying.
Some having the guts ... to accept that love relationships ... and duality in general ... it's not really easy.
But...
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.