Trying, but failing ... to express myself.
The funny thing is that i certainly am in top position ... when it comes about the status of ... "lost souls".
Somehow accepting it ... as a pure fact and even considering myself proud of it.
Cause ... i finally found a good thing i am good at.
So ... i write ... analysing and defining all what is going on ... uselessly trying to comprehend the nonsense i am part of especially in duality.
To be more specific ... in love relationships.
Meanwhile ... with or without my agreement this weird journey into the darkness ... continues.
I am confused.
Also confusing.
But ... i still live with the illusory hope into my soul ... into a better tomorrow.
One ... that at least till now ... is delaying to come.
So ... i keep speaking in front of the public ... pretending
i am writer ... and that i know the secrets of the dynamic related to love stories.
Of course ... being a liar.
Like many, many others.
An imposter ... speaking about the ... absolute truth.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.