I think a lot.
I've became addicted to it.
It's sort of an obsession.
... looking also as an addiction.
I study the concept of illusory, but no matter what i always end up into the illusion.
Feeling without a compass.
Not ... just lost.
... but extremely lost.
Of course ... all was induced of the fact that ... i had realised that no matter what direction i might follow ... all was the opposite of what i've wanted ... and actually a pathless path.
So ... yeah ... i am the profile experiencing life as a disappointment ... but paradoxically still suffering of this incurable disease called optimism ... i continue hoping.
Hoping of a better tomorrow.
... one that never comes.
Meanwhile ... i express all those thoughts, emotions and feelings from inside of me... writing and writing.
Trying to analyse and define this weird dynamic ... still expecting that i might find a solution to redefine the scenario of this damn life ... but unfortunately still living in hell.
In despair.
A non ending torture.
A nonsense.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.