Truth being that no one bothered to teach us ... what is life.
How we should act.
Or react.
But ... whenever things get out of our control ... many times ruining us mentally and emotionally ... a weird unexplainable force starts to overwhelm us.
It's called ... depression.
We hate it.
Being so afraid and ashamed of it.
Trying to run away ... but somehow being too late.
I've personally experienced it ... as a secondary effect of the dynamic of my perceptions related to reality ... but also being intoxicated by the vibes of the people from the stage of my life.
Especially ... the closest ones.
Many, many times ... even in love relationships ... making the huge mistake of connecting to the wrong soul... and accepting the connection as something normal.
Not being wise.
Or pretending i can't be.
So ... as many other idiots from the planet Earth ... i am wasting my existence ... allowing to be tortured by ugly vibes.
Accepting it.
But ... denying that i already know that ... depression itself is a blessing from God ... whispering me that i am on a journey ... on a pathetic pathless path.
And ... i need to stop.
Also ... meditate at an immediate change.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.