And ... i keep writing.
But ... the real truth is that i am not really a writer but a person who's so, so confused and confusing ... clearly proving that i can't understand anything at all.
Of course... like many others.
But ... i continue my philosophical and spiritual journey.
Becoming so afraid of karma ... and desperately trying to run away of uselessly provoking it ... but always failing.
Looking so much ... like an idiot.
And probably... being one.
That's why i've started ... one more time ... probably the tendency number 8762 ... to practice the process of self therapy ... trying to understand ... this weird dynamic of love relationships.
Explaining to myself ... but also to the public ... what the hell is going on with me ... while in love.
All the time ... looking like ... I'm actually in love ... of
the wrong person ... being into the wrong story ... but ignoring that whatever the Universe allowed to happen ... it's actually a divine lesson.
Being so ... confused.
And confusing.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.