Cause otherwise ... again insanity it's coming back to the surface.
Defining my life.
And me ... as a human being.
Which of course ... it's not really ok ... but the real truth is that my obsession for illusory is even stronger as ... cocaine.
Or heroine.
Or anything ... really strong.
So ... that is how I actually destroy myself ... in continuous form.
Every damn ... single day.
Calling it ... a therapeutic way of experiencing life.
Unfortunately ... it's not.
I am just a liar.
I lie myself a lot.
Also an imposter.
Cause ... i write a lot ... trying to manipulate the public opinion ... so that i see them doing the same ... all becoming ... a great excuse.
Aha ... for the absurd of my stupid decision of knowing it's wrong all what i am doing ... but still doing it.
Inducing illusions.
Tasting them.
And ... calling it life.
Normality.
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.