Behind the Behaviour: The Ultimate Toolkit for Foster Carers

Foster caring means loving a child through behaviour that can look like defiance, aggression or shutdown, and knowing that underneath, it's rarely about you. Behind the Behaviour is a practical, trauma-informed toolkit for the exact moments that test foster carers most: meltdowns, power struggles, lying and stealing, aggression, withdrawal, and the everyday tests of trust that come with caring for a child who has been let down before.

Inside you'll find:

- 60 short, practical tools, organised by behaviour and ready to use in the moment

- A clear explanation of what's really going on underneath difficult behaviour

- A carer self-check, because your own regulation matters as much as theirs

- Tools for meltdowns, defiance, attachment testing, lying, stealing and hoarding, aggression, and withdrawal or risk-taking in older children and teenagers

- A personal toolkit exercise to build your own shortlist of what works

- Honest guidance on the signs it's time to bring in more support, and who to contact

Written for carers rather than therapists, and drawing on trauma-informed approaches used across fostering practice, it suits children of any age, from toddlers to teenagers. It is written with UK foster carers in mind, and many of the tools will also help kinship carers and adoptive parents.

You don't need to get this perfect. You just need to keep showing up.