The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

· Sold by Legacy Lit
69 reviews
Ebook
272
Pages
Eligible

About this ebook

In this moving guide, a gay man shares his personal journey of letting go of shame and moving forward with self-compassion and healing.

"A touchstone in gay culture." —Observer

"The clearest, most succinct delineation of the origins and consequences of internalized homophobia, and how to address them." —Artvoice

Even though an entire generation of men have openly and freely come out of the closet, gay men still struggle with self-acceptance. Sexually transmitted diseases, depression, and suicide occur more frequently for gay men than straight men. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Through brave individual stories and compassionate analysis, The Velvet Rage explores how shame is insidious, and can be traced back to childhood feelings of “otherness”. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, Alan Downs offers a path to emotional well-being and an end to self-defeating behavior.

Velvet Rage is an empowering book you'll wish you read long ago. It’s not too late to begin the healing process.

In this moving guide, a gay man shares his personal journey of letting go of shame and moving forward with self-compassion and healing. "A touchstone in gay culture." —Observer "The clearest, most succinct delineation of the origins and consequences of internalized homophobia, and how to address ...

Ratings and reviews

69 reviews
Norwalk Avenger
May 17, 2019
I often wonder what Dr. Downs would say about social media. At any rate, this book is a must read for any gay man who is going through relationship funkiness, aka 99% of us, it feels like. Whether you're the "incel" or the gym stud, we all have to manage navigating this jacked up world together, yet uniquely. Just know you're not alone.
3 people found this review helpful
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Max Barrett
August 24, 2022
As a gay man I have had my share of ups and downs in relationships. In 2011 I hit my rock bottom and began my recovery. I found my recovery tribe in SLAA "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous". I am now in a healthy relationship. I love the short shares in this book. I have and will recommend this book to other gay fellows in SLAA.
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Tyler Warner
November 22, 2016
This book helped me see so many of my own terrible habits as a gay man and helped me be more mindful of my behavior.
3 people found this review helpful
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About the author

Alan Downs, PhD is a clinical psychologist and the bestselling author of seven books. His work is acclaimed internationally and has been published in more than twenty-seven languages. He is a sought-after conference speaker, workshop leader, and frequent media commentator on the psychology of gay men. He has more than 25 years of experience in working with individuals from all walks of life, and is currently in private practice in Los Angeles, California.

Currently, he consults with individuals and couples in his Los Angeles office as well as over the internet worldwide. In addition to his expertise in working with gay men, he is an intensively trained Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapist who has worked with individuals as well as therapists who are seeking to learn the mindfulness, emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills which are so effectively taught within the DBT therapeutic framework. Most recently, Dr. Downs has been quoted in Vogue, The Guardian, and The New York Times.

Alan Downs, PhD is a clinical psychologist and the bestselling author of seven books. His work is acclaimed internationally and has been published in more than twenty-seven languages. He is a sought-after conference speaker, workshop leader, and frequent media commentator on the psychology of gay...

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