Out of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives

Finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award

" Out of the Shadows is several books—a snapshot of three generations of gay men and effect AIDS has had on them, an argument for the gay sensibility in a time of assimilation, and a memoir. But most of all it's stories, fascinating stories gleaned from the gay men who came to Walt Odets for talk therapy. They make it both riveting and moving. A gay man could read this book as if his life depended on it—and perhaps it does." —Andrew Holleran, author of Dancer from the Dance

It is still not easy to be gay in America. While many young men now come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds often struggle with the legacy oof early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, both of which fuel self-doubt and, at worst, self-loathing. Through moving stories—of friends and therapy patients, and of his own—Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories to futures that are not authentically theirs. He reimagines how we might reframe gay life by considering everything from the misleading and constraining ideas of "the homosexual" to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, and to the historical roles of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and aging.

Though it is drawn from decades of private practice, activism, and personal experience, Odets's work achieves remarkable universality. At its core, Out of the Shadows is driven by his belief that it is time that we act based on the basis of who we are, and not who others are, or who they would want us to be. Out of the Shadows is a necessary, impassioned arguent for how and why we all must take hold of our futures.

"[Odets's] writing is poignant and achingly beautiful―so much so, in fact, that I occasionally had to put the book down to avoid weeping on the subway." —Benoit Denizet-Lewis, The New York Times Book Review

"A luminous humanity shines through." —Michael Cart, Booklist

"Odet's trifecta of social commentary, memoir, and therapeutic analysis is an astute statement on how to overcome trauma, loss, and isolation to live a proud, self-actualized, and fulfilling existence as a gay man. . . . Some of the most on-point and beautifully written thoughts on love, acceptance, and family I've read in some time." —Alexis Burling, San Francisco Chronicle