It does not go well.
The ancient lord of shadows is horrified by the warmth, revolted by the sweetness, and completely undone by the pastel marshmallows that cling to his pointy nose. With his aesthetic in ruins and a tantrum in full swing, it falls to quick-thinking Nesta to save the day — by reaching for the blender, loading it with ice, and conjuring a blood-red berry smoothie so freezing cold, so magnificently gruesome, that even the king of the undead has to smack his lips.
Vampires Hate Hot Chocolate is a gloriously silly, beautifully illustrated picture book about a very dramatic vampire, a very unflappable barista, and the importance of knowing your customer.
Features:
A Hilariously Pompous Villain: Lord Thaddeus is ancient, menacing, and completely defeated by a warm drink with pink marshmallows — children will delight in watching him lose his composure one fluffy topping at a time.
Bouncy, Rhythmic Rhymes: Elegant quatrains with a stately gothic rhythm that collapse gloriously into chaos, making this an irresistible read-aloud for building early language and listening skills.
A Wonderfully Unflappable Hero: Nesta doesn't panic, doesn't flee, and doesn't miss a beat — a brilliant model of calm, creativity, and excellent customer service under supernatural pressure.
Spooky Fun Without the Scary: All the drama of a vampire lord with none of the fright — the perfect Halloween read for little ones who want their monsters silly, not scary.
Nathan Nelson is a British author and illustrator who writes wildly funny, rhythmic picture books for young children. His stories are packed with eccentric characters, bouncy rhymes, and joyful chaos - the kind that makes bedtime reading an event. He lives in the UK with his family and a growing collection of ideas that really should not work but somehow do.