The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life

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About this ebook

In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you'll avoid gaslighting relationship.

Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.

Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back, you wonder if your mother is right and figure that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism. 

If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from.
 
Are you being gaslighted? Check for these telltale signs:
 
1) Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?

2) When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?

3) Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar? 
 
4) Do you have trouble making simple decisions and constantly second guess yourself?
 
5) Do you frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to your family and friends?
 
6) Do you feel hopeless and joyless?

In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you'll avoid gaslighting relationship. Your husband crosses the lin...

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Ratings and reviews

43 reviews
Fantee
October 8, 2026
people who are dependent ,who need clinical study of human behaviour might be clinging to sort of this mechanism. lack of proving concern and just maybe don't have true established relationship in business etc.
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Bill Hiers
January 14, 2026
well written book.the author gives clear cut examples of cases he was in his personal clinical study before writing this book.
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Chelsea Riopel
August 24, 2018
This book really stuck with me. I have bookmarked a ton of sections I will continue to review. I will for sure read it again as every day as life happens I relate more and more to the material in this book.
6 people found this review helpful
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About the author

, has been a therapist for more than twenty years, specializing in issues of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. She has been a keynote speaker at universities, and consults to schools, corporations, and nonprofit organizations. She teaches at Hunter College, Teachers College, and Columbia University and is also a leadership coach for faculty. She is a founding member of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership. She currently maintains a psychotherapy practice in New York City, where she lives with her husband and two children.
, has been a therapist for more than twenty years, specializing in issues of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. She has been a keynote speaker at universities, and consults to schools, corporations, and nonprofit organizations. She teaches at Hunter College, Teachers College, and Col...

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