Madly, Deeply: The Diaries of Alan Rickman

A RARE LOOK INSIDE A DEDICATED ACTOR'S MIND: Before you read this, I highly suggest you watch all of Alan's films and TV episodes (around 70 credits, according to IMDB). I was able to find everything he did (outside of his plays) on streaming services, YouTube and Daily Motion. The only physical media I had to buy was The Search for John Gissing ($5 on eBay). His older stuff is mostly on YouTube, harder to search for, and of mostly bad quality, but still completely worth watching. Like many others, I wasn't familiar with his body of work outside of the hits. My obsession with Alan Rickman began in 1995 when I saw him in Sense and Sensibility and still continues to this day. However, I had no idea just how versatile and gifted an actor he really was until I watched his other, lesser known films. After I watched all of his acting credits, the diary magically made sense. No doubt, this diary was poorly edited. I spent the whole time reading it with a highlighter in one hand and Google search in the other. Most of the people he spent time with were famous, in one way or another, so I found nearly all of them online. That being said, I had to work WAY too hard to decipher this diary when better footnotes could have easily done the job for me. There were also careless mistakes, like when he spoke of a woman named Radha B. The footnotes said this was actress Radha Blank when a two minute Google search made it clear that the woman was obviously Radha Bharadwaj (who directed him in Closet Land). I find it interesting that people are accusing him of name-dropping. This was his private diary, which he never asked to be published, according to the foreword. These were not famous people to him, but his contemporaries. My husband works in construction, so all his friends are in construction. Therefore, it follows, that actors are going to be friends with other actors. And I noticed some feelings were hurt by his comments. Please keep in mind, people usually vent in their diaries. Also, Alan said during an interview once that he would never lend his name to a right wing cause, so I'm not understanding the outrage at his liberal leanings. The comments in the diary were not published opinions or social media posts, but the man's PRIVATE THOUGHTS. I don't personally understand why his wife allowed this to be published, but that was her prerogative. I would have loved instead an authorized biography with a few diary quotes thrown in. That all being said, I gave this book five stars because it felt like a genuine treat to know what was going on inside that beautiful man's head. Yes, he went to lots of fancy dinners and parties, but for the most part, he agonized over his work. He was jealous at times of other people's success, but he also hated succeeding when his friends were failing. There were a few juicy tidbits along the way (like his crush on Norman Reedus and his taste for unusual strip clubs), but for the most part, this diary showed the life of a man that loved his friends and family and worked hard at honing the craft he so obviously revered. Rest in peace, Alan. Your forever fan. (This was my exact review nearly verbatim on Amazon when I read the hard copy a couple of years ago)

I managed to finish the book. I tried really hard not to cry because it felt like I truly got to know him, and suddenly I was witnessing his pain and his death. He is such an amazing person, his dedication to his craft, his love for his family and friends, and his choice to keep showing up even while in pain. My Favourite Actor 🎭

Alan Rickman was a very good Severus Snape!