High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out
Amanda Ripley
Apr 2021 · Simon and Schuster · Narrated by Amanda Ripley
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9 reviews
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9 hr 50 min
Unabridged
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About this audiobook
A “compulsively readable” (Evan Osnos, National Book Award–winning author) book from the New York Times bestselling author of The Unthinkable and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigating how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.
When we are baffled by the insanity of the “other side”—in our politics, at work, or at home—it’s because we aren’t seeing how the conflict itself has taken over. That’s what “high conflict” does. High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear.
Our journey spans California, Chicago, Colombia, New York, and beyond, following people caught in political feuds, gang vendettas, and deep ideological divides as they confront the stories fueling their conflicts and seek a path forward. All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into good conflict, the kind that made them better people. They rehumanized and recategorized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right.
People do escape high conflict. Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. “Insightful and enthralling” (The New York Times Book Review) High Conflict provides a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.
Featuring audio highlights from actual interviews, town hall meetings, and podcasts.
When we are baffled by the insanity of the “other side”—in our politics, at work, or at home—it’s because we aren’t seeing how the conflict itself has taken over. That’s what “high conflict” does. High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear.
Our journey spans California, Chicago, Colombia, New York, and beyond, following people caught in political feuds, gang vendettas, and deep ideological divides as they confront the stories fueling their conflicts and seek a path forward. All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into good conflict, the kind that made them better people. They rehumanized and recategorized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right.
People do escape high conflict. Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. “Insightful and enthralling” (The New York Times Book Review) High Conflict provides a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.
Featuring audio highlights from actual interviews, town hall meetings, and podcasts.
A “compulsively readable” (Evan Osnos, National Book Award–winning author) book from the New York Times bestselling author of The Unthinkable and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigating how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.
When we are baffled by the...
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Ratings and reviews
9 reviews
Bart Lavis
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January 19, 2024
Unfortunately, I just couldn't buy into this book. It felt like an extended interest piece about 5 or 6 individuals written in a journalistic style. It came across as anecdotal, and I struggled to find the consistent narrative between these case studies presented. Really only until the final Appendix does the book bring home the message. In a few paragraphs, it is told that conflict is a commitment to a binary narrative (us vs. them) that can be resolved with space (time and physical), curiosity of the others opinion, and a recognition of other choices to identify with. I can't say I recommend this as a book. This would have served better as a New York Times article.
Richard Griseto
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May 6, 2021
Having trouble getting back to the beginning. So I can go through it again
About the author
Amanda Ripley is the New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Kids in the World, High Conflict, and The Unthinkable. She writes for The Atlantic, Politico, The Washington Post, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal, among other publications.
Amanda Ripley is the New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Kids in the World, High Conflict, and The Unthinkable. She writes for The Atlantic, Politico, The Washington Post, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal, among other publications.
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