Ready for Absolutely Nothing: A Memoir

Susannah Constantine

Jan 2023 · Hachette Audio · Narrated by Susannah Constantine

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10 hr 5 min

Unabridged

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2022 BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR FROM THE TELEGRAPH (UK) AND THE SUNDAY TIMES (UK)
2022 BEST AUDIOBOOKS OF THE YEAR FROM THE TIMES (UK)

This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her journey as a recovering alcoholic.

The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a 'style guru' as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan –then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.

Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in these pages from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.

But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.

READY FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, readers of LADY IN WAITING, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.

2022 BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR FROM THE TELEGRAPH (UK) AND THE SUNDAY TIMES (UK) 2022 BEST AUDIOBOOKS OF THE YEAR FROM THE TIMES (UK) This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her j...

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About the author

Susannah Constantine is a novelist, journalist broadcaster and podcaster with over 25 years’ experience in the media and 50 years of f**k ups under her belt. She lives in chaos on the edge of a wood in Sussex and works full time as a housewife, PA and taxi driver to her husband and three (sort of) grown up children.

Susannah Constantine is a novelist, journalist broadcaster and podcaster with over 25 years’ experience in the media and 50 years of f**k ups under her belt. She lives in chaos on the edge of a wood in Sussex and works full time as a housewife, PA and taxi driver to her husband and three (sort of...

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