Held, Not Fixed: A Practical Guide to Helping Children Regulate Emotions Through Connection
About this audiobook
When things escalate, it can feel like nothing works.
You’ve tried the strategies. You’ve stayed calm. And still, it unravels.
Held, Not Fixed takes a different approach.
Instead of focusing on behaviour alone, it helps you understand what’s happening underneath. Why children struggle to regulate, and why strategies often don’t land in the moment.
Because children don’t learn regulation first.
They borrow it - from the adults around them.
This book offers a clear, practical way to respond in real situations - not just when things are calm, but when they’re already going wrong.
Inside, you’ll find:
A grounded explanation of what drives behaviour
Why common strategies fail under stress
Practical ways to respond that support regulation and connection
A consistent approach you can return to, even on hard days
No scripts to memorise. No pressure to get it right every time.
A clear, grounded way forward.
If this approach makes sense to you, you can start here.
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About the author
Rachel Gay is a mental health nurse with more than thirty years’ experience in public mental health. Her work has included clinical care, community and homelessness services, and direct work with families and consumers, as well as roles focused on system and process change.
Influenced by her own lived experience of neurodiversity, she brings a compassionate, evidence-informed approach to understanding behaviour, regulation, and change.
Her writing blends clinical insight with practical, humane support for parents, educators, and professionals working in real-world settings.
She is the founder of House of Sharky, guided (with varying degrees of cooperation) by a small but determined poodle. More at houseofsharky.com.
